Gil Travel

GIL NEWS »

Bar Mitzvah & Bat Mitzvah FAQ's Answered


Bar Mitzvah

Your Bar or Bat Mitzvah is a very important celebration and lots of questions come to mind, some of which we will try to answer for you. At the age of thirteen a boy is considered a Bar Mitzvah, and according to Judaism, he is obligated to observe mitzvot (Torah commandments) as any other adult Jew. Traditionally, this obligation begins for girls at 12 (although some congregations consider 13 the age for girls to celebrate their Bat Mitzvah).

Fill out a questionnaire to help us suggest a meaningful program for you
Click Here for a Glossary of Helpful Terms


What is my Hebrew birthday? How do I set the date for my Bar Mitzvah / Bat Mitzvah celebration?

Your Bar Mitzvah / Bat Mitzvah is celebrated according to the Hebrew calendar.



How does the Hebrew calendar work

The Hebrew calendar is divided into 12 lunar months. Each one begins on Rosh Hodesh - the day when the new moon appears. It is shorter by 11 days, than the Gregorian calendar, which follows the solar year. Every so often (7 times in a 19 year cycle) an extra month is added to the Hebrew year so that the Jewish holidays fall in their appropriate season.



Do I have to learn Hebrew for my Bar Mitzvah / Bat Mitzvah?

No, but knowing some Hebrew will enhance your Jewish knowledge and your Bar Mitzvah / Bat Mitzvah. Being able to read from the Torah, following the prayers in the Siddur, and knowing Hebrew terms will help to make your Bar Mitzvah / Bat Mitzvah much more meaningful.


What are some traditions related to Bar Mitzvah / Bat Mitzvah?

Traditionally, boys begin to don Tefillin on their Bar Mitzvah (or several months before), and are called up to to the Torah for an Aliyah. Often, the Bar Mitzvah boy will wear a Tallit. Many boys read from the Torah and the Haftara on their Bar Mitzvah Shabbat, and are expected to give a Drashah on the Parshah. Some Bar Mitzvah boys lead services. A celebration is held to mark this special occasion, and friends and family are invited to share in a festive meal. It is customary to give gifts to the Bar Mitzvah / Bat Mitzvah.



Bat Mitzvah

In many non-orthodox congregations in America, Bar and Bat Mitzvah are celebrated in the same way. You should check with your rabbi what is customary in your community.
The celebration of Bat Mitzvah is much more recent in Judaism.

See how the first Bat Mitzvah was celebrated in America.

In many orthodox communities, Bat Mitzvah is celebrated with a festive meal for family and friends, where the Bat Mitzvah girl gives a Drashah.

Often, she completes a special Torah study or community service project in honor of her reaching the age of Mitzvot. Sometimes, synagogues or schools have a joint Bat Mitzvah program that culminates in a performance and party for the entire group.

Traditionally, a Seudat Mitzvah, a festive meal accompanying a religious occasion, is served to give thanks for reaching the age of Mitzvot. In many congregations, it is the custom for the family of the Bar Mitzvah / Bat mitzvah to provide a Kiddush reception after services. Check the practice in your community.



What do I have to do to become Bar Mitzvah / Bat Mitzvah?

Nothing - except be Jewish and reach the age of Mitzvot! Becoming a Bar Mitzvah / Bat Mitzvah isn't tied to any specific ceremony or action, it's automatic. Reading the Torah, giving a Drashah, leading services, having a party are all ways of marking and giving significance to this important milestone in your life.

It is important that the celebration of your reaching the age of Mitzvot is a meaningful and positive experience for you and your family. It can be a wonderful learning experience, and contribute to your Jewish identity and personal growth.

Talk to your rabbi to understand their hopes and expectations, and what is customary in your community. Then decide together with them how you will mark your Bar Mitzvah / Bat Mitzvah.

Fill out a questionnaire to help us suggest a meaningful program for you.



What is the Torah Portion read on my Bar Mitzvah / Bat Mitzvah Shabbat?

See the text of your Torah Portion

Each book of the Torah is made up of portions (parshiot- single: parsha). Click the book, and then the name of your parsha. You will need Realplayer to listen to the Torah reading. You can also learn your Parshah with the traditional cantillation (tune).



What is a Haftara?

The Haftara is a selection from the prophetic books of the Bible, and is read on Shabbat and Festivals. Each Parshah has its own Haftara that connects to the Torah reading or the festival. The Haftara of your Parshah.



Do I have to celebrate my Bar Mitzvah / Bat Mitzvah on the Sabbath?

No. The advantages of celebrating your Bar Mitzvah / Bat Mitzvah on the Sabbath are that the entire Torah portion (Parshah) is read (that may sound like a disadvantage, but it gives you the opportunity of honoring friends and relatives with an Aliyah to the Torah), the Haftara is read, and services are more widely attended than on weekdays. A Kiddush reception after Shabbat prayers is a nice way to include the entire congregation in your Simchah.

On the other hand, Shabbat observance may impose certain limitations, including driving, photographs, music, etc. Congregations have different standards in the way that they honor the Sabbath, and your guests may have varying levels of Sabbath observance. Discuss this issue with your rabbi when you plan your Bar Mitzvah / Bat Mitzvah celebration.

Learn more on the concept and traditional observance of Shabbat.



Do I have to give a speech? Where can I get help?

A Bar or Bat Mitzvah is an opportunity to share with your community, family and friends things that you have learned and what Judaism means to you. A speech is one way to do this, and traditionally the Drashah is an important aspect of the celebration. It doesn't have to be long, but it should be interesting and express your thoughts and feelings. It also gives you a chance to thank your parents and teachers, friends and family who have made the effort to attend your Bar Mitzvah / Bat Mitzvah.

A speech is traditional, but you may want to consider additional ways of expressing your thoughts and feelings: an exhibition of your original art or photographs, a written text, or musical performance.

Fascinating links on Parshat HaShavua and other Jewish topics, and a bibliography of books of Jewish interest that can enrich your speech and study. In addition, we have a bank of Drashot that can give you ideas. Click here for some ideas on how to structure your Drashah.



What is the significance of Tallit and Tefillin?

The Tallit is a four cornered garment worn in order to perform the commandment of Tzitzit (fringes or tassels), as mentioned in the Bible, Numbers 15: 37-41. The purpose of this commandment is to remind one of all of God's commandments when we see the fringes. The blue thread was to remind the Jew of the Heavenly Throne. Observant Jews wear a Tallit for morning services, and many religious Jews wear a small four-cornered fringed garment (Tallit katan) under the shirt throughout the day.

The numerical value of the Hebrew word "Tzitzit" (fringes or tassels) is 600. Add to this the 8 strands and 5 knots, and we have 613 - the number of commandments in the Torah. The Tallit is a unique symbol of Jewish identity, and of our tie to God. It is the Biblically mandated Jewish "uniform".

Tefillin are boxes that contain passages from the Torah to fulfill the mitzvah "And you shall bind them as a sign upon your hand and they should be an ornament between your eyes" (Exodus 13). They are worn on the left arm (if you are right-handed) and above the forehead during morning prayers on week days. They serve to remind us of God's miracles and to dedicate our powers of thought, emotions and actions to His service.



How can I make my Bar Mitzvah / Bat Mizvah more meaningful?

Fill out the Bar Mitzvah / Bat Mitzvah questionnaire and the team at Gil travel will help you plan a Bar Mitzvah / Bat Mitzvah you and your family will never forget.


GLOSSARY

Aliyah L'Torah
The Torah is read on Shabbat, Festivals, Rosh Hodesh and Monday and Thursday.

Each reading is divided into a number of sections, and each section is preceded and concluded with a blessing. We call each section an Aliyah (ascent), since a different person ascends to the Torah to recite the blessings. See the blessings before and after reading the Torah.

Drashah (Plural: Drashot)
A speech on a Torah topic. Many B'nei Mitzvah give a Drashah.

Ideas on how to structure a Drashah.

D'var Torah
Same as Drashah, though shorter and usually less involved. It's nice to say a D'var Torah at a Shabbat meal, but a Drashah would be too much!

Haftarah (Plural: Haftarot)
The reading from the Prophets that accompanies Torah reading on Sabbaths and Holidays.

Find your Parashah and then click on your Torah Portion.
See a commentary on the Haftarot.

Havdalah
Upon the conclusion of the Sabbath (when at least three stars are visible in the sky on Saturday night), we part from the holy day with Havdalah, a prayer marking the end of Shabbat. While holding a cup of wine, we make a blessing over the fruit of the vine, upon fragrant spices and the flame of a braided candle. We thank G-d for distinguishing (Havdalah) between holy and weekday, light and darkness, Israel and the nations, and between the Sabbath and the other days of Creation. If you make a Bar Mitzvah / Bat Mitzvah party on a Saturday night, you may begin the evening with Havdalah.

Learn how to perform this ceremony.

Kiddush
Kiddush is recited over a cup of wine one the evening of the Sabbath and festivals, and again in the morning after services. A Kiddush reception, including refreshments is often held after services on Shabbat, especially when there is a Bar Mitzvah / Bat Mitzvah in the congregation.

See the text of Sabbath Eve Kiddush and other home rituals.

Parshah (Plural: Parshiot)
The Torah is divided up into 54 Parshiot (readings) that are read throughout the year. In order to complete the entire cycle on Simhat Torah, sometimes a double Parasha is read.

Parshat HaShavua
Weekly Torah reading.

Seudat Mitzvah
A festive meal celebrating the performance of a Mitzvah - such as a Bar Mitzvah / Bat Mitzvah, Brit or wedding. It is customary to include a D'var Torah to make a meal into a religious occasion.

Shabbat
The Jewish Sabbath. This is a day of rest, cessation from creative work and dedicated to spiritual renewal. It is the most important Jewish ritual, and mentioned in the Ten Commandments.

Learn more about traditional observance of Shabbat.
A deeper look at the traditional meaning of Shabbat.

Siddur
Prayerbook. Beside being essential for prayer, the Siddur is an excellent resource book for learning about Judaism.

Simcha (Plural: S'machot)
A joyous Jewish occasion - such as your Bar or Bat Mitzvah

Synagogue
The synagogue is a place of meeting, prayer and Jewish study. The first synagogues developed after the destruction of the First Temple in 586 BCE, and have become a central pillar in Jewish life everywhere in the world. Reform congregations usually refer to their place of worship as a temple. The Yiddish name for a synagogue is "Shul."

Virtual tour of a synagogue.
Read more about the synagogue.

Tallit
The Tallit is a four cornered garment with Tzitzit, ritual fringes, on each corner. The Tallit is worn during morning prayers. See below: Tzitzit.

Tefillin
Tefillin are leather boxes that contain passages from the Torah to fulfill the mitzvah "And you shall bind them as a sign upon your hand and they should be an ornament between your eyes" (Exodus 13). They are worn on the left arm (if you are right handed) and above the forehead during morning prayers on weekdays. They serve to remind us of God's miracles and to dedicate our powers of thought, emotions and actions to His service.

Learn more about Tefillin. You will have to explore this site on your own. It includes a movie and photograph gallery of how to put on Tefillin, as well as the symbolism of this mitzvah.

Tzizit
Ritual fringes or tassels worn to remind us of all of the Mitzvot. Originally, the Tzitzit included a blue strand (Tekhelet) that was a reminder of the heavens above. According to the Torah, the Tzitzit are the "official uniform" of the Jew and his special role in the world of fulfilling God's commandments.

Learn more about this Mitzvah.
Learn about the thread of blue.

NOTE: The content on this page is intended as a guide only. Gil Travel will not be held responsible for its accuracy or the effect on those who use it.